Reviews by ape

Kensei: Sacred Fist is deceptive in many ways. What looks like a simple fighting game has a fighting system that’s a little deeper than meets the eye. You may also think that for its time, it had a massive fighting roster at twenty-two in all...But not quite. And by looking at the back of the game case, reading the description, and looking at the screenshots, you might think that this game would be absolutely awesome...Unfortunately, that’s not the case. Read on and I shall inform you as to why that is.



First off, I’ll go into the story...Aside from the very brief bios for the nine main characters in the game’s instruction manual, there is no story of any kind to be found in this game. Granted, very few people who play fighting games play them for the story, but something as basic as endings for each character is enough to give a player some incentive to continue playing through the game with everyone on the roster. Kensei doesn’t have any endings. If you beat “Normal mode” (which is best known as Arcade mode in most fighting games) the only congratulations you’ll get is the credits rolling. Granted, there are 13 fighters to unlock as well as a new game mode that involves the fighters running around a track for 'best lap' records, but honestly, many of the fighters play very similar to each other, so while unlocking folks, it feels repetitive...especially when you unlock someone with a moveset that’s basically the same as the person you just beat the game as, but with only a few moves changed up.

That’ll bring me to the gameplay. The gameplay in Kensei is pretty basic, you’ve got a button to punch, kick, block, and grab/catch. The blocking in Kensei is odd, but something I kind of liked. If you block an attack, you don’t just stand there and take it like most fighting games. If you block successfully, you might be forced to wobble backwards or to the side, which may leave you open for a second attack...Or you might duck and weave out of the way during a block attempt, avoiding the attack altogether. While it might feel cheap at times when they do connect and you’re rocked backwards, the computer is effected by it just as much as you are, also leaving them open for your attacks, so I’ve got no problem with it...Besides, they tried something different. I admire that. Also different, unlike most fighting games, in Kensei you can’t jump or duck. When you press up or down, you begin to circle your opponent...Depending on the difficulty level, you can sometimes just calmly circle behind your opponent and give them a trashing. Which was a big problem in my eyes...The difficulty is awful. I beat Normal mode on my first attempt, on Normal difficulty, and got a ‘Perfect’ fight three times out of ten. Again, it was my first time playing the game...And one of those perfects was off of the final boss. When that happens, your computer AI is absolutely terrible. Another sign that your AI is terrible is when I can turn the difficulty to ‘easy,’ turn my back to the screen, and still win about eighty-five percent of the time. If I’m still winning most of the time when I’m not even looking, something is definitely wrong.



My biggest problem with this game is the lack of replayability. Yes, there are thirteen characters to unlock. Yes, there’s a hidden mode to unlock. However, like I mentioned earlier, most of the characters are basically clones of the person you unlocked them with, with slight variances in movesets. And the hidden mode, Running Bugi, really is nothing that you’ll want to make a point to unlock unless you’re a completionist that needs to finish every game they play to one-hundred percent. As I mentioned earlier, there are no endings for any of the characters. Granted, the ending credits are pretty fun to watch, but once you’ve seen it once, that’s pretty much all you need. With no endings to unlock, lame hidden characters that feel more like clones than new fighters, and a hidden mode that’s not even worth mentioning, the replayability is very, very low here. The only way Kensei: Sacred Fist might be in your system for more than an hour is if you have a few friends over and all decide to virtually beat the snot out of each other using this game.

As far as the cosmetics go, Kensei looks pretty bland. The backgrounds are usually devoid of anything interesting. The character models aren’t terrible, but they’re not all that pretty either. The models are also rip-offs of certain individuals...The most notable one being Douglas Anderson, who looks and dresses exactly like Steven Seagal. But anyway, while this isn’t the worst-looking game on the Playstation by any means, when this game came out there were many games (some of which were made by Konami, who also made this game) that were much, much easier on the eyes and much more detailed as well. The audio is generic, techno-sounding, typical fighting game music. Absolutely none of it stuck with me as I write this review. I suppose that it’s good in the sense that I wasn’t annoyed by it...But it’s also bland as it does nothing to add to the experience as you play. It just feels as if it’s there because the developers believed that music of some kind needed to be included and they quickly whipped a few tracks up and slapped ‘em in. The graphics and audio are both bland...Neither one is awful, but they’re also not anything you'll drop your jaw over.



Not being awful, but also not being good seems to be the norm with Kensei. The fighting mechanics are passable and something different for the jaded fighting fan...But unfortunately, they’re bogged down by a very poor AI. If you’re fighting against a friend, you’ll get a more pleasant experience, but I’m reviewing the contents of the game here, and your friend’s fighting style isn’t something programmed onto the Playstation disc. That being said, the broken AI drops this game down from being passable to being a failure. The poor AI, lame rewards for playing through the game, and bland graphics and audio ultimately drag down a fighting game that definitely had potential to be really good. In Kensei, the fist is definitely not sacred...and for fooling me into thinking that it was, I’d like to show the developers a sacred finger.

In 1996, Konami decided to release an RPG on the Playstation game console in North America. This RPG wasn’t visually stunning, it wasn’t 3D, and it just looked like a run-of-the-mill role playing experience...But remember back to when you were in grade school and your teacher told you not to judge a book by its cover? When you play Suikoden, you’ll be reminded of it within the first few hours of gameplay.



The story is pretty simple, but original. You take the role as the son of one of the generals in an empire’s army. When your pop goes away on business, you find out that your best friend is a 300-year old teenager and that the castle’s sorceress wants the magic rune thing embedded in his hand. This leads to that, that leads to this, and suddenly you’ve got the rune on your hand and the sorceress with an attitude as bad as her hairstyle is hunting you down...Which motivates you to build up a rebel faction to take down the empire. See? Basic stuff there.

As far as battles go, there are three types of battles. The first is the most common one, and that’s your usual turn-based combat. What makes Suikoden’s turn-based combat so different from most RPG’s, though, is that you’re controlling six characters on the screen at a time AND by mixing and matching characters in your party, you’ll find ‘Unite’ attacks, which allow several characters to attack at once to deal mucho damage to your enemies. Trying to mix and match party members to gain an advantage in a boss fight you’re having trouble in, can be a key to success.



The other two battles types aren’t used nearly enough. The first is used, if I remember correctly, three times at the most through the entire game. It’s called the Duel and is a one-on-one fight. The Duel is a pretty easy battle type as all you have to do is read what your opponent says before an attack to determine whether you should attack, defend, or go for an all-out attack. If you’re careless in the Duels, though, it is very easy to see that Game Over screen. The other battle type is used more often, but it would have been neat to see it more. This battle type is basically a war. A couple thousand of members of your army versus a couple thousand of the enemy’s army in a deadly game of paper, rock, scissors...Which is essentially what they are. You have to choose between charging the enemy, shooting arrows, attacking with magic, or trying to pull a trick out of your sleeve like sending someone over to recruit the enemy or learn what their next move it. Then try to attack the enemy with whatever weakness the attack you think they’ll be using will have. These wars can be risky, however, because if you make a wrong move, you may end up killing a party member...And if that happens, they’re gone for good.

Another major factor in the gameplay is collecting characters. You’re building a rebel army so you need all the help you can get. In Suikoden, there are 108 characters to find and recruit for the army...including yourself. Some will join automatically while others need specific tasks done, while others are just simply hiding and need to be found, and others still will join if you just show mercy and refuse to kill them. If you can make it to the end of the game, after having recruited all 108 characters, you’ll receive a much better ending and gain a nice little surprise before the final battle.



The only real downside to this game, unfortunately, is the graphics. While several folks who adore 2D sprites, like myself, may embrace the graphics...We’re the minority. A lot of folks will shun it because it doesn’t look like the 3D Playstation Final Fantasy games do. It looks like it could’ve been a late SNES game...And while the timeframes of late-SNES and early-Playstation are pretty much the same, there will still be that graphical expectation due to the difference in hardware. Another slight downside is the length of the game itself. Some RPG fans want a nice-long game...And while you’ll get a nice game with Suikoden, you won’t get a particularly long one. I managed to beat the game and obtain all 108 Stars of Destiny in just over twenty hours.

Overall, Suikoden is a very good game. What it lacks in graphical power and length, it makes up for with fun gameplay with an emphasis in exploration and experimentation. Throw in a decent little story and sprinkle in a few different battle types and you’ve got an RPG that looks like a plain, generic piece of poo but plays like a masterpiece.

Fire Pro Wrestling is known amongst wrestling fanatic gamers as a great simulation of the sport of professional wrestling. Fire Pro Gaiden: Blazing Tornado was a unique game in the Fire Pro series as it added an arcade-style of gameplay to the fantastic Fire Pro formula. Does this arcade-ish take on the Fire Pro series live up to the reputation of the regular games in the franchise? Well, read on and find out.

As I stated earlier, Fire Pro Gaiden: Blazing Tornado is an arcade-inspired Fire Pro Wrestling game. The way I kind of describe this game to folks is that Saturday Night Slammasters was mostly arcadey, Street Fighter-ish gameplay with some wrestling tossed in. Fire Pro Gaiden is the opposite; it’s mostly wrestling, but it’s got enough arcade elements tossed in to make it different from the rest of the series. How so you ask? Well the modes alone are enough for most folks to see the arcade-style influence – Circuit mode (which is the ‘arcade mode’ in most fighting games), Elimination mode (two teams of four wrestlers battle it out in one-on-one matches), and Power Battle mode (basically Elimination mode, except you’re a team of one wrestler and you’re battling the entire roster of the game).



Further showing arcade influence is the gameplay itself. The gameplay in Fire Pro Gaiden is simplified a little from your average Fire Pro Wrestling game and some of the moves are exaggerated a tad, which further gives you an arcade feel. Also, weapons can be involved in any and all matches; there are no disqualifications in Blazing Tornado. Once outside, all you have to do is go up the the guardrail, press a button, and you’ve armed yourself with a glass bottle, a chair, or a folded-up table. However, despite the small arcade touches to the actual gameplay, this is still very much a wrestling game rather than a fighting game. There may be no disqualifications, but you can still win or lose via pinfall, submission, or count-out...And depending on the difficulty that you’re competing on, the matches can easily come down to whoever lands the next big move getting the victory.

With how competitive the computer is, it really helps add to the replay value of the game...Because, quite frankly, there aren’t many modes to master and to top that off, there are only eight characters (nine if you’ve got a cheat code) to compete as...Which isn’t terrible, but Fire Pro Wrestling is known for having an incredible volume of wrestlers in its games. To counter this, the wrestlers in Fire Pro Gaiden are larger and more detailed than in other games in the Fire Pro universe. Despite the more detailed competitors, I can’t help but feel that the roster could have and should have had at least sixteen characters...Though, in honesty, the characters that are included in the game each have different styles. They also all have different personalities, which again, give it a little bit of an arcade feel...or a WWE feel, whatever you prefer to describe it as. It should also be noted that unlike other Fire Pro games, the members of the Blazing Tornado roster are completely original characters, not generic copies of real wrestlers to avoid copyrights.



The controls to the game will be very familiar to Fire Pro veterans. Newcomers may have some difficulties getting used to the isometric point-of-view and how that effects the accuracy of punches and attacks. But, overall, I actually feel that this game controls better than just about every game in the regular Fire Pro series. However, that also may be because the emphasis here is the gameplay, whereas in many Fire Pro Wrestling games, especially the later ones, the emphasis of the game seems to lean towards watching the computer duke it out while you book dream matches that you wish to see. Perhaps that’s another reason that I feel as if this is an arcade version of Fire Pro...Well, that and it was actually in Japanese arcades.

Graphically, I’d say that this is probably the best in the series. With the smaller roster, the characters on-screen are now larger and more detailed and so is everything else, from the crowd to the ring. That said, it all looks alright until the camera zooms-in on the action during a big move and the on-screen characters become incredibly pixelated. I kind of looked at it like an artistic style and wasn’t bothered by it. However, folks who place high value of a game based on the graphics may be pretty underwhelmed here. The audio found here is alright. There’s really nothing outstanding to mention, but likewise there’s also nothing to complain about. The audio works with the game, just don’t expect the soundtrack or anything to leave you in awe.



All in all, Fire Pro Gaiden: Blazing Tornado is a pretty good wrestling title. It may not have the depth of your usual Fire Pro title, but what it lacks in match types, roster size, etc. it more than makes up for in the actual gameplay, which is a little easier to pick-up-and-play in comparison to other games in the Fire Pro series. If you love wrestling games, you’ll likely love Blazing Tornado. And if you’re intimidated by the fact that this is a Japanese import, don’t be. Most of the game is actually in English, including the ring introductions, which makes this a great import for wrestling fans that aren’t fluent in Japanese. Despite some flaws, like a lack of gameplay options and match types, and a somewhat low replay value, Fire Pro Gaiden: Blazing Tornado is a great addition to the Saturn library of any pro wrestling fan.

*CONTINUED FROM [Link removed - login to see].*



40. Billy Bob (1-2 Players) - 2/10
Once again, another game that just screams potential has been muffled by the dummies responsible for Action 52. Billy Bob tries to play like the old Prince of Persia games...The keyword there is ‘tries’. The common theme of random hazards in Action 52 once again appears here, giving you cheap deaths galore. It’s not uncommon to be climbing up a wall just as a spear or rock spawns right above you on the ceiling so just as the animation of you climbing is finished, you get to see an animation of you dying. The controls are alright until you have to jump...Jumping and moving at the same time is like how it is in most of the platformers in Action 52; a lottery. You can press a directional and the jump button at the same time...That doesn’t mean your character is going to jump anywhere but straight up. The random enemies and poor jumping mechanics make this game far more difficult than it needs to be. This game could have been decent...But Action 52 has dropped the ball once again with poor programming.



41. City of Doom (1-2 Players) - 2/10
What did I just play? That’s what I was asking myself after playing City of Doom. How a man climbing a building constitutes a city full of doom is beyond me. But anyway, it’s another shooting game. You control a guy as he climbs a building and shoots at stuff. But look out, he’s right-handed so if an enemy is coming your way and is more on your left, you’re not going to hit him and he’s going to hurt you. Oh yeah, and don’t touch a window – instant death. On top of the poor, cheap gameplay, this game has the absolute worst soundtrack I’ve heard so far on the game. Imagine taking Alvin and the Chipmunks and raking their teeth along a chalkboard as they sing...Then you’re beginning to understand the horrors of the music in this game. Bad gameplay, bad music, bad choice.



42. Bits and Pieces (1-2 Players) - 3/10
Bits and Pieces is one of the better platformer games in Action 52...But that’s not saying much. In this game you control someone that looks like Grandpa Munster and you jump over Universal Monster look-alikes like Mummys, Wolfmen, and Creatures from the Black Lagoon. You have no attacks at your disposal...All you do is jump over them or on top of them. The old random problem is back...But not quite as bad as in other games...Sometimes so many random enemies will appear that it’s impossible to jump over them all. However, since one hit doesn’t kill you, it’s not as annoying as it is in other Action 52 games. This is another game that could have been made fun with minor adjustments...But alas, it’s garbage.



43. Beeps and Blips (1-2 Players) - 4/10
The saddest part about this game is that it actually seems as if the developers actually tried to make it good. It has some neat ideas in it, but ultimately, it’s like most of the other Action 52 shooters; awful. Shooting is terrible due to awful controls...You’ll have to click the direction that you want to fire twice before you’ll actually start shooting in that direction. On top of that, most of the enemies are of no real threat. Some of them will fire at you, but it’s easily dodged. Your only real threat is accidentally running into one while you try to fire at another one. Though, in later stages the enemies do become more ruthless and a few will actually follow you around, which is a nice surprise of a challenge. The one good idea they had was the ‘1up’ bars you collect. By collecting these, your ship can take more hits before dying. While they’re really only needed due to the poor controls in firing at other ships, the fact that the developers actually tried to add a little depth to this title impresses me. Keep in mind, this still isn’t a good game...But that little attempt at innovation and the enemies in the later stages that actually pose as a challenge help prevent it from being absolutely awful.



44. Manchester (1-2 Players) - 4/10
Ever want to hear an annoying tune play every time you jump? Me neither. Apparently the developers of this game did, though. Manchester is another poor platformer. I guess you’re supposed to be distracted by the jumping music so that you don’t realize that the game controls poorly. But, she does. On top of that, there’s interesting glitches...Like how you can’t walk through the music note blocks in the beginning...and then later in the level, you suddenly can. Or like how falling into a pit can allow you to jump into the ground and walk underneath all the danger above. I really don’t have a whole lot else to say about Manchester except don’t play it.



45. Boss (1-2 Players) - 4/10
You play as a frog/lizard/guy with green skin and you shoot other frogs/lizards/guys with green skin while trying to avoid bombs being dropped by giant hands sticking out of windows. That pretty much sums it up. The controls feel bad, but they’re do-able. The worst part of the game, though, are the gaps. You’ll get gaps from time to time where you’re running for a few seconds with absolutely nothing happening. If this was an intense game and you needed a breather, that’d be fine...But this is a lame and tame game...These gaps just make it worse. Still, though, even with these faults the game is one of the better Action 52 titles...But that isn’t much of a compliment.



46. Dedant (1-2 Players) - 1/10
Why? Why in the world would you program enemies to fire to the left and right when your character is never able to be on their left or right? In Dedant you control an ant...You can only move left and right, you can’t go anywhere else. You enemies can go all over the place, and they can fire at you....But most of the time, they’ll be in the middle or top of the screen firing to the left or right. I know this is Action 52, a collection of 52 of the worst games ever made...But c’mon. It’d be nice if they had put at least a little bit of time and effort into this to make it somewhat challenging. It’s boring, it’s broken, it’s bad....Stay away from Dedant.



47. Hambo’s Adventures (1-2 Players) - 0/10
Random cheapness strikes again. Hambo’s Adventures is another bad platforming game that gives the player poor jumping mechanics to jump over enemies and random, cheap deaths. Enemies spawn at random places in the level, which will sometimes make the level impossible to complete...And since you only have one life (though you can collect 1ups to get more), if you happen to be doing well and come across an area that’s impossible to pass because of poor placement of the randomly spawned enemies, it’s game over...Not because you did badly but because the game is a cheap jerk. I won’t even start to get into the anger I felt from the extremely cheap deaths of spawning enemies on top of you as the level begins. Because of the poor controls and cheap deaths, Hambo’s Adventures will likely enrage you instead of making you feel like you’re having a good time. Hambo is one pig that I’d gladly watch get turned into bacon...and his game may be the absolute, single worst game that I have ever played.



48. Time Warp Tickers (1-2 Players) - 1/10
You’re a pair of fingers...and you flick stuff or jump over them. Well, that’s what’s supposed to happen anyway so long as when you press a button it triggers the action. For some reason, there are sometimes delays in the game as if it’s trying to figure out if you actually pressed a button or not. It’s not fun times. Time Warp Tickers also suffers from the ever-popular random enemies problem, though not as badly as some other games. There really isn’t much else to add...It’s bad. Avoid it.



49. Jigsaw (1-2 Players) - 4/10
Jigsaw is surprisingly not completely terrible. It has the normal flaws like glitches, poor control, and random enemies...But it’s somewhat playable. I think it was the inspiration for the Super NES not-so-classic Home Improvement game. But anyway, it looks bland and plays bad...But it’s still better than most of the other poo you’ll find in this awful compilation.



50. Ninja Assault (1-2 Players) - 1/10
A blind person could beat this game with ease. Hold down the left directional button and tap the A button repeatedly...You’ve won the game. There is no challenge here....It’s a VERY poorly done beat-em-up that only has one entertaining aspect to it – the poorly done “Hya!” sounds you hear when you hit things. However, the novelty of those awesomely bad sound effects doesn’t last long before you’re bored out of your mind from mashing buttons. Ninja Assault is yet another game that you need to avoid in the awful world of Action 52.



51. Robbie and the Robots (1-2 Players) - 3/10
The first level of Robbie and the Robots is pathetically easy...Just run and shoot. Nothing will touch you and you’ll kill everything. The second level, thankfully, makes things more challenging by adding holes to fall into...But unfortunately, it almost makes it too difficult since there are robots on the walls firing at you. It’s hard to avoid the bullets and make the jumps you need to make at the same time...Too hard. If the developers had just evened out the difficulty, this game might actually be fun...But instead it goes from insanely easy to frustratingly hard. As it is, it’s alright in comparison to other Action 52 games....But it’s still pretty awful compared to nearly every other game out there.



52. Cheetah Men/Action Gamemaster (1-2 Players) - 5/10
Cheetah Men or Action Gamemaster (I guess the developers couldn’t decide on a name so they used both) is the grand finale of Action 52...It starts with a cut-scene intro that you can’t skip and then the game begins...And it begins poorly. The controls are bad, the animation is bad, and the gameplay is boring. As you advance, though, the game gets better....Not a lot better, but a little better. The game also recycles enemies from the fifty-one other games you may or may not have played, so you get to beat up those once invisible Sadam Husseins that bothered you in Storm Over the Desert along the way, so that’s kinda neat. Cheetah Men obviously had a lot of attention put on it...Which is why I can’t understand how it’s still as bad as it is. Granted, it’s easily one of the top five games in Action 52...But if you’ve read the reviews for each game, that’s not saying a whole lot. Cheetah Men was obviously the pride and joy of the folks who made Action 52...With that being said, I think it’s safe to assume that the developers who made these games have no pride and have never experienced joy.

OVERALL
Action 52 has a reputation of being one of the worst cartridges available on the Nintendo entertainment system...It’s a reputation that it easily lives up to. Even the best games in this compilation are barely passable. Every single game in the cartridge suffers from choppiness and most of them suffer from glitching....And these problems can range from barely noticeable to frustratingly blatant depending on the game. Several games had obvious potential to be good...But Active Enterprises managed to screw them all up. The poor graphics and sound could have easily been overlooked if they had fun gameplay backing them up. However, with the gameplay as horrible as it is, the bad graphics and sound almost feel like the publisher was rubbing salt in the wounds of those who played their games.

Action 52 is a rare, valuable game...It’s worth a purchase for collectors that are looking to own every NES game ever made. However, the average gamer should breathe a sigh of relief that this game is difficult to come across; it lessens the chances of you having to deal with the pain that it brings.




*NOTE* I wrote this years ago for my website, which is currently down. Should I decide to resurrect the site and you read this there, you'll notice different scores. I score on a 0.5 scale for my website. Since Listal uses a different rating system, I modified the scores for each game to match the system here...Otherwise, the review is unchanged, including the videos I nearly lost my sanity making for this review. Hope you enjoyed 'em as much as I suffered making 'em hehe. Oh, and also, this review was too large to fit in one review, as Listal cut half of the text from my original review when I published it. So, that's the reason for this review being published in two parts. Anyway, that's all I've got. Thanks for reading the review, including this rambling non-review stuff down here. Take care.

Less is more. Quality over quantity. Active Enterprises had obviously never heard of these phrases when they put out Action 52, an NES game cartridge packed with 52 underwhelming games. Before you read my short, overall review of the game, take a gander below at mini-reviews of each of the 52 games. I’ve made video footage of all 52 games so you can see these train wrecks in action and see the pain that I’ve gone through, wasting a week of my life reviewing this compilation for you all. Enjoy.



1. Firebreathers (2-Players only) - 4/10
Honestly, this game should be more fun than it is. You and a friend are supposed to battle head-to-head as dragons trying to drain each others’ health by shooting fireballs at each other. Granted, since you’re battling another human being, it can be a little fun...However, when you start to fly downward in an attempt to hit your target and your dragon is still firing to the left, it almost becomes more frustrating than anything else. The only comfort that you really have in the game is that your friend is having the exact same control problems as you, which makes it an even match...I just wish it could have been an even match with tight, accurate controls. This game could have been so much fun...But alas, Action 52 dropped the ball.



2. Starevil (1-2 Players) - 3/10
This is a top-down, vertical-scrolling shooter that is just so very, very bland. The controls do work, but in such a way that you don’t quite feel like you’re in control. The graphics make it look like you’re playing a game based in a world made of cheap, knock-off legos. The AI on this game is terrible. In most scrolling shooters, you have to avoid the enemy. In this game, the enemy often avoids you. Some ships swerve diagonally...But often times, these swerves are away from you. The ships also like to fly through the scenery in places that you can’t get to. What’s the point of a scrolling shooter when you can’t fire at the enemies? They don’t even fire back at you...So aside from the obstacles in the scenery itself, you’re not really trying to avoid any danger. On top of that, the levels aren’t long...within 30 seconds or so, you’ll see that the level has looped before your eyes. I suppose you’ve gotta loop stuff to pack 52 games in one cart. My final gripe is the boss fights. Sometimes they just don’t appear. The second time I played through, for example, no boss fight. Just an endless batch of ships due to a lovely glitch. To put it simply, this game’s a mess.



3. Illuminator (1-2 Players) - 5/10
While it needs polish, Illuminator is actually pretty fun. The premise is simple, you want the lights on and other folks want the lights off...And you’re willing to kill each other to make sure you have your way. With the lights on, you can see everything. With the lights off, with the exception of ladders, floors, lighting fixtures, and your brick-shaped bullets, which glow in the dark apparently, you can’t see a thing. This makes it kind of a frantic fun...However, when you’ve climbed to upper levels and a light switch has been flipped, it’s very hard to make it back down since the ladders don’t extend past the ground for you to place your shadow in front of. When this happens, you’ve gotta use your bullets to kind of see where your position is, then take a few steps and fire again until it looks like you’re above a ladder. It’s an annoying trial and error process that could have easily been remedied. The graphics aren’t great, but they’re alright. The controls are pretty well done. Overall, it’s one of the best games on the Action 52 cart...Unfortunately, that doesn’t say a whole heckuva lot.



4. G-Force (1-2 Players) - 4/10
Have you ever wanted to just hit a button repeatedly while staring at a screen? Well, then G-Force is for you! This side-scrolling shooter is so incredibly boring and terrible. You can actually just position your ship in one spot and then hit the fire button. By doing this, you can blaze through all four levels in a matter of two minutes. That’s right. You can beat this game in two minutes. What happens when you move around and try to make the game entertaining? Frustration. It becomes less of a shooter and more of an ‘dodge the enemies’ simulation. These ships never fire back at you, either. They’re kamakazes, I guess. They just want to ram their ships into yours. On top of the awful gameplay, the graphics are lame-o and the controls work, but just don’t feel tight. It’s better a better scrolling shooter than Starevil...But not by a whole lot.



5. Ooze (1-2 Players) - 4/10
Ooze must’ve had lots of love because it’s the first game I’ve come across with an actual title screen. Unfortunately, I feel that this ‘love’ came from developers that lock their children in the basement for not clipping their toenails properly. Ooze looks like it could have been a somewhat enjoyable platforming game...However, the controls feel odd. It takes a while to get used to them, and even when you do, there’s still a decent chance of you accidentally killing yourself by slipping in a pit or something. The biggest issue that’ll throw off your timing is the animation...It’s just so choppy. Nothing feels fluid. So, you’re left with a game that looks and plays terribly. I’m pretty sure the developers knew this, too. Ooze does make you feel love, though...You’ll love when you’re not playing it anymore.



6. Silver Sword (1-2 Players) - 4/10
I’m not quite sure what this game was supposed to be. When you first start to play it, you think, “Oh! A Zelda rip-off! Maybe this’ll be somewhat decent!” Then after a few seconds you realize that it’s nothing like Zelda and that you had gotten your hopes up. Silver Sword is basically a scrolling shooter without the scrolling. You control when you advance up the screen...Which is kind of a shame. Had they turned this into a scrolling shooter, it probably would have been fun. Afterall, unlike Starevil and G-Force, the enemies in Silver Sword will actually shoot at you and try to kill you. For that, I give it credit. There’s actually a challenge here. What I don’t understand is that eventhough this is not a scrolling shooter, you can still die from touching the scenery. For example, I died from walking into a tree. Granted, I understand that trees are vicious, murdering beasts...But c’mon. And one final gripe before I go, why is this dude’s sword black when the title is called ‘Silver Sword’?



7. Critical Bypass (1-2 Players) - 3/10
Well, we’ve already gotten ourselves another Brown Blooper here, folks. Critical Bypass is a side-scrolling shooter that has good ideas and bad execution. You can shoot in four directions (up, down, left, right) which could have made this game decent if it weren’t so horribly, horribly broken. While you have the ability to shoot in four directions, it’s not as simple as heading in that direction to do it. You have to tap the directional button twice to shoot in that direction. This can be rather difficult to get used to. I don’t know how many times I died for running into an enemy because I was shooting in a direction I didn’t want to shoot in. It also seemed like the easiest way to dispose of enemies was to lure them off the left side of the screen rather than shoot them...Which I’m assuming is a glitch. Also annoying are the obstacles in the level. Obstacles would be good if the shooting system was better, but since you have to do multiple taps on the directional buttons to fire where you want to fire, you’ll find yourself hitting obstacles on a fairly regular basis. This was a game I wanted to like...It’s just a shame that it’s awful. You should take this game’s name to heart; it’s critical that you bypass this game.



8. Jupiter Scope (1-2 Players) - 2/10
Jupiter Scope is a single-screen shooter that feels and plays like a poor Atari 2600 game. If it was released on the 2600, I’d likely give it a slightly better score...But since this game was released in 1991, there’s really nothing good to say about it. You shoot at stuff that looks like flaming firewood, which I believe are supposed to be comets, and that’s about it. The graphics are awful. As I stated, the comet/meteor things look like firewood, but the ship looks like those things that you use to send bursts of air at a fire to keep it burning. You know, they’ve got two handles on one end and the blower on the other and you put your hands together, which pushes all of the air out and into whatever the blower end is pointed at. I don’t know the name of them, but I think you folks know what I mean....But anyway, along with bad graphics are bad effects. There are absolutely no effects when you shoot the firewood comets...They simply disappear. Another, very boring aspect of this game is the fact that, like several other titles in Action 52, there’s no real threat here. The comets don’t spew rocks or anything...And you don’t get penalized for letting any by. The comets scroll down completely straight...so, they’re easy to avoid. The only way you can really be hit by them is to try to be hit by them. For the record, this game is like those comets, it’s easy to avoid...And you should do so at all costs.



9. Alfredo (1-2 Players) - 3/10
Wow. That’s all I can say. Want to smash living hotdogs (or are they noodles?...hotdogs are more entertaining) with a frying pan? You won’t after playing this game. The animation is just as choppy as the kind found in Ooze, but the platforming is worse. It’s not uncommon to find yourself lodged within part of the level because you tried jumping up a stairway-type platform. There are also cheap deaths galore in this game. Sometimes just being near an enemy is enough to kill you. The only real satisfying part of this game is when the chef you control dies because he twists his neck when he perishes, allowing you to make believe that one of those hot dogs snapped his neck. Hot dogs commiting murder = good times. You playing this game = bad times.



10. Operation Full Moon (1-2 Players) - 5/10
While still sub-par compared to most games, in comparison to other games on this cart Operation Full Moon is not too shabby. It’s a standard vertical-scrolling shooter. No power-ups or anything...BUT the enemy does fire back at you. This gives the game some challenge and make it feel like a halfway decent game. But, there are some problems here...The first time you play, you’ll likely die a few times just because you try to drive over something that will kill you. Some of the hazards aren’t clearly labeled as such, and because of that, you could die a few times prior to figuring it all out. Next are the graphics. While they’re good in comparison to some other games in Action 52, they’re still pretty bland...And they don’t really change from level to level aside from the color. But those things aside, the controls are tight and the gameplay can be fun for a while. But, like I said at the beginning, while it’s very good compared to most other games in Action 52, it’s still sub-par when you compare it to other games on the NES.



11. Dam Busters (1-2 Players) - 5/10
Dam Busters is a decent little top-down action title. Much like Operation Full Moon, it’s sub-par to other NES games, but in comparison to the other Action 52 titles, Dam Busters is pretty sweet. You control a beaver that throws what appears to be dice at other, evil beavers. The evil beavers also have dice, though, and don’t hesitate to throw dice your way, too. This would be welcome if it weren’t for the fact that your movement is severely limited most of the time due to roads and trails that you’re unable to leave...So, if a ton of dice are being thrown your way, you have no chance of dodging it because of this confinement. It’s the cheap deaths that arise from this problem that really bogs the game down...Otherwise, it may have gotten a respectable score. The only other issue I had with this game was the poor graphics. While they do look good in comparison to some of the other Action 52 games, they’re pretty awful for an NES game that came out in 1991...I’d say they’re more on par for a game that came out in 1986. But those gripes aside, this is one of the better Action 52 titles and worth checking out.



12. Thrusters (1-2 Players) - 4/10
Yet another top-down, vertical-scrolling shooter, Thrusters has some of the stuff that I complained about some of the others not having, like enemies that fire back, but none of it is particularly done well. The enemies do fire back, but not necessarily at you. For some reason, their ships can only fire diagonally, so if you’re directly beneath them, you’ve got nothing to worry about. Also, the ships themselves don’t move. They’re all easy targets. The only thing preventing this game from being a complete bore-fest are the obstacles. There are obstacles you must dodge as you blast away the ships...Unfortunately, they sometimes blend in pretty well with the background. They’re easy to see, but they’re also easy to forget about. It’s another scrolling shooter Action 52 has failed at...Even if it has failed less than some of the others.



13. Haunted Halls (1-2 Players) - 3/10
When folks think of famous women in video games, they think of Samus Aran in Metroid, Lara Croft in Tomb Raider, Chun Li in Street Fighter, and Haunted Halls Lass in Haunted Hill. Alright, maybe they don’t. It is nice to see a female lead character in Haunted Hill, but that’s almost the only praise I can give this game. The game controls poorly, the animation is choppy, and it’s just an overall mess. You sometimes have to backtrack in order to kill an enemy because they’re out of your reach, only to find that while backtracking another enemy has appeared to give you a nice, cheap death. But, I can say that the soundtrack for this game is one of my favorites in the Action 52 cart...Good luck staying alive long enough to hear much of it, though.



14. Chill Out (1-2 Players) - 2/10
When you’re an Eskimo that freezes to death after getting hit in the face with a snowball, you’re not cut out to be an Eskimo. When you’re a game that tries to use this premise for a fun time, you’re not cut out to be a game. This game is bad. The animation is choppy and the controls are just as bad. On top of that, there’s no real way to stop a snowball once it’s headed for you at the two-mile-an-hour pace it’s thrown at. You just have to avoid it...Which can be difficult when there’s multiple Eskimos on one level hurling snowballs in your direction. On top of that, there are common glitches that see your enemies just pace back and forth on a single block as if it can’t walk on any other part of the floor. If you get off of a ladder too soon, you ‘fall’ to your icy death. There’s terrible, noticable slowdown (even in the music) if there’s more than a few snowballs currently floating in the air, too. It had the potential to be the frantic fun that Illuminator was, but it just plain fails at just about everything. It’s terrible.



15. Shark (1-2 Players) - 1/10
Stay away from this game. It looks innocent enough. In fact, it almost looks like Seaquest on Atari 2600...But it lacks all of the depth that makes Seaquest such an enjoyable game. You just sit there and wait for sharks to appear...And sometimes you will wait for a while. My longest waiting period was roughly ten seconds. It doesn’t sound like much, in these days where loading screens are common. But this is an NES cart...No loading necessary. There’s no reason for these large gaps of nothing. If the gameplay was so intense that I needed a few gaps of nothing for a breather, that’d be fine....But this gameplay is so lame....so tame. There’s absolutely no need for it. The sharks do nothing except swim in a straight line. That’s it. Then you shoot them. And then you’ll face sharks of a different color that act exactly the same. Then you get to face jellyfish that randomly appear and disappear. So, you go from easy to shoot sharks to rely-on-luck-to-hit jellyfish. While the jellyfish do add some much needed difficulty to the game, it’s not the kind of difficulty you can easily overcome with skill. It’s mostly luck. This game is just awful. The only good thing I can say about it is that they managed to get the controls down fairly well...But that doesn’t mean much when the rest of the game is trash.



16. Megalonia (1-2 Players) - 3/10
This side-scrolling shooter actually looks like it’d have some personality when you see the graphics. They’re not as bland as most other games in the Action 52 collection. However, it doesn’t really have much else going for it. The music is absolutely annoying, for starters. It’s a sequence of notes just looped...Which would be fine if it was catchy...But it’s high-pitched and irritating. Next, Megalonia has the G-Force syndrome. If you want, you can easily advance through the levels by positioning your ship in one spot and mashing the fire button. Unline G-Force, though, you can take damage this way since the enemies do occasionally fire at you...That and sometimes the game doesn’t register when you hit an enemy...So, they might ram into you. It’s also got the Starevil boss fight glitch. The first time I reached the end of the first level, I had to reset the game because the boss decided it didn’t want to show up. Overall, if Action 52 was a high school, Megalonia would be that really attractive, but stupid girl; she’s one of the prettiest in the school, but there isn’t a whole lot else to her.



17. French Baker (1-2 Players) - 5/10
If it weren’t for the insane amount of cheap deaths this game provides, it would actually be pretty fun. Basically, you’re a French Baker and you throw wisks at various baked goods like donuts and file cabinets. It’s actually a fun little action game. But then, the cheap deaths begin. Whenever you kill an enemy, another one will randomly appear on the screen...And there’s a decent chance that it’ll spawn right where you’re standing for an instant death. This could have easily been remedied and would have made it a very enjoyable game. Graphics-wise the game is pretty lacking. It looks terribly basic, but since the gameplay is somewhat fun, it’s pretty easy to overlook that. As it is, it’s not absolutely terrible, but those cheap deaths will definitely get on your nerves.



18. Atmos Quake (1-2 Players) - 4/10
Yet another top-down, vertical-scrolling shooter. You’re shooting at stuff. There’s obstacles in the way. The enemies don’t move. Blah, blah, blah. There really isn’t much to say here. It’s basically like the other vertical-scrolling shooters on this cartridge. The only difference here is that, like Thrusters, the enemies fire at you but do so very poorly that you probably won’t even realize they’re shooting unless you actually look for it. Otherwise, this game is what seems to be the standard fare in Action 52 scrolling shooters. It’s just more of the same. It’s not really even worth a look if you’ve played any of the other ones I’ve mentioned thus far.



19. Meong (1-2 Players) - 2/10
I honestly have no real clue what the premise of this game is. It seems to be a maze-type game where you need to get to the end without falling into a trap. In order to do well in this game, you have to go very slowly and watch all of the hidden traps, ‘cause they’ll open and close at random, and then pick your path on memory. The problem is it’s boring. Very boring. If you go to fast, you’ll likely die pretty quickly. But if you take your time and go so slowly that you’re nearly falling asleep at the controller, then you’ll make it to the end. If you decide to play this game, I suggest having an alarm clock nearby. You’ll need it.



20. Space Dreams (1-2 Players) - 4/10
Space Dreams is yet ANOTHER top-down vertical-scrolling shooter. This one has a more unique look as you’re shooting children’s toys like teddy bears, dolls, and unsafe pins. The enemies do shoot at you in this one, and not diagonally, either...They shoot straight down. However, when and if they shoot is random...So, you could be on the other end of the screen and see a teddy bear shoot straight down. Likewise, since the shooting is random, you could be busy blasting everything in sight, then move over in hopes to blast a doll at the last second only to get there just as a random shot is triggered. Then you’re dead. A doll killed you. As far as graphics go, they’re not good but they are kinda unique from any other game listed thus far, so I’ll give them credit for that. Overall, Space Dreams is alright...But I just wish one of these scrolling shooters in Action 52 actually had enemies that tried to fire a you rather than just randomly spew out bullets. This is an alright, yet boring, addition to the compilation.



21. Streemerz (1-2 Players) - 6/10
This game caught me completely off-guard. While it’s no masterpiece, it’s actually quite fun. Basically, you’re some guy that climbs stuff using a streamer. It sounds dumb, but it’s not bad. Unfortunately, it’s also got some negative stuff preventing it from being as fun as it could be. First off, items kill. That’s right. When you play a game and see a bag of money, or any other inanimate object for that matter, it’s simply instinct for you to walk over and collect it. Do that here and you’ll get a green frown face. Yup, try to collect items in Streemerz, and you’ll likely die from picking up a bag of money. Also, like most other games in Action 52, there is no pattern in the movement of enemies...So, they just walk around randomly. This would be fine if you had a weapon, but you can’t attack anything in this game. Instead, you need to try and sneak by with your streamer...Which is sometimes impossible considering the random nature of their movements. This often makes advancing to the next level based more on luck than skill. Overall, Streemerz is one of the best games on Action 52, but still, it’s not without its faults.



22. Spread Fire (1-2 Players) - 1/10
Absolutely no challenge here. You move your ship from side-to-side and fire at other ships that fly all over the place. They don’t fire at you, so the only way you can die is if they ram into you a few times....But it’s rare that even one will ram into you let alone several. This game is so easy that it gets boring almost immediately. If you need a self-esteem booster, this game does a good job because there’s almost no way to lose. This game fails at everything else, though. It is prettier than some of the other Action 52 games, but that doesn’t mean much. Avoid this game at all costs.



23. Bubble Gum Rossie (1-2 Players) - 1/10
This game is one of the most broken games I have ever played in my life. I’m not going to list all of the bad stuff because it will take me way too long. I will however list the good stuff this game offers....Ah, who am I kidding? There isn’t anything. The controls are frustratingly terrible. They’re so bad, I actually thought that my controller was glitching. I plugged in a different controller and same result. Half the time, your character won’t jump when you want them to, and when they do, good luck getting them to jump to where you want to go. You have the ability to shoot something (bubble gum, maybe?) at enemies, but what’s the point when most of them are immune to it? This game is one of the most awful games I’ve ever played. Discovering Bubble Gum Rossie is like discovering a chunk of chewed gum underneath your desk in school and getting it all over your hand...Very disappointing.



24. Micro-Mike (1-2 Players) - 1/10
I’ve complained a lot so far about Action 52's games being way too easy...Well, this one is way too difficult. In Micro-Mike, a side-scrolling shooter based off of Defender, you have to navigate through the level, which scrolls quite fast, by shooting and avoiding enemies while you make your way through a maze in hopes that you get through it before the scrolling crushes you. Avoiding the obstacles is difficult enough...But when you add the enemies, this game just becomes near impossible. The enemies are randomly placed and are often blocking the way you need to get through...And since the screen scrolls so fast, it’s very difficult to shoot them out of the way, so you end up ramming into them. Do this too many times, and you’re dead. There are also bullets that seemingly spawn from the walls to try and hit you, which can make things difficult. On top of all of that, the game is also extremely glitchy...If you somehow happen to survive more than a few seconds, you need to hope that the game doesn’t glitch up...’Cause if it does, you’re not going to see where to go and you’ll be crushed by the scrolling. Playing a challenging game is fun...Playing an impossible game is not. Unfortunately, Micro-Mike falls into the second category.



25. Underground (1-2 Players) - 4/10
Underground is another interesting game that could have been good, but was held back by awful flaws that almost make it unplayable. The game plays fine and controls fine...In fact, this would probably have been a blast to play....Except for the random enemies. Oh, Action 52 loves their random enemies. The problem here is that you need to get to the end of the level...However, some of the platforms you have to reach are very small...And it’s hard enough to get by them when one enemy is patrolling up there, but when two or more are randomly running around, it can be impossible to advance on. Ironically enough, the first level seemed to be the hardest one to get past, too. I had little to no trouble after the first level. Overall, this would have been a pretty fun game....But the random enemies often lead to very cheap, unavoidable deaths. Another botch by Action 52.



26. Rocket Jockey (1-2 Players) - 4/10
Another boring side-scrolling shooter, Rocket Jockey is a little better than some of the others simply because the difficulty was raised a little. Not much, mind you, but enough to let you know that they somewhat tried. Most of the enemies are like the Action 52 scrolling shooter norm; they move in a straight line and don’t shoot. However, the enemies that are sitting on rockets, like your character, will swoop in and try to hit you AND fire at you, as well. It adds a little bit of a challenge to the game...But, since the majority of the enemies you’re shooting at are basically harmless, it’s still a rather boring game. Overall, it’s just mediocre.



27. Non Human (1-2 Players) - 2/10
Non-Human...That’s what you have to be to willingly unleash a game like this into the world. This action platformer is awful. The folks who made Action 52 need to face facts, they have absolutely no clue how to make a playable platforming game. While not as broken as Bubble Gum Rossie, Non Human’s controls aren’t very good. With bad controls, the platforming can be difficult and you’ll often end up falling into a pit full of abnormally large heads. Overall, this game is just a wreck...Not nearly as big of a wreck as Bubble Gum Rossie, but a big enough of one that you’ll want to stay away.



28. Cry Baby (1-2 Players) - 4/10
This is a bit of an odd game...You control a giant baby that pees on people to kill them. Some may argue that the child is squeezing milk out of a bottle to kill folks, but I disagree. It looks like he’s peeing. Anyway, the point it to pee on people and fires by climbing up and down furniture to get to the enemies. Overall, this game isn’t really bad...It’s just dull and boring. This is yet another Action 52 game that could have been decent had it been given some polish...But it didn’t, and thus, you should stay away.



29. Slashers (1-2 Players) - 1/10
Most brawlers can get repetitive after a while, but Slashers is the only one I’ve ever played that got repetitive after beating up the first enemy. This is less of a brawler and more of a ‘take a few steps, then mash buttons, and repeat’ simulator. When brawling with the enemy is almost seems random when you actually get hit. On top of that, all you can do is mash buttons. There is no strategy here at all. It gets very repetitive very fast. This game is absolute trash...Not even die-hard fans of brawling games will find any enjoyment here.



30. Crazy Shuffle (1-2 Players) - 3/10
Normally, I’d say that this game was called Crazy Shuffle because it was crazy that a game this bad made it into the shuffle of games in this compilation...But considering the other games I’d reviewed in Action 52 thus far, Crazy Shuffle seems like a nice fit. Apparently, the point of crazy shuffle is that you’re a leaf that shoots insects...And you have to shoot at specific bugs before you can advance a level...But you usually can’t tell by appearance. Oh, and you’ll die if you touch a flower. It controls fairly well in comparison to some of the other games, but it’s still not all that great...You’ll often accidentally fly into a flower for an instant death. The game also becomes boring very quickly. It’s also pretty easy...All you really have to do is stay in one location behind some leaves and fire in one direction and you’ll likely advance a level. There isn’t really much else to say...Crazy Shuffle is just another underwhelming title in this underwhelming compilation.



31. Fuzz Power (1-2 Players) - 2/10
I appreciate that Active Enterprises tried to make this more than just a collection of 52 awful scrolling shooters and threw a few other game genres in the list...But dang it, I’d like to meet the dummy who played these platforming games and said, “Yeah, people will like these.” Fuzz Power is another awful platforming game...Although, this one is very interesting and probably would have been one of my favorites if it wasn’t so dang broken. You control an old man with giant feet that’s covered in hair. Your enemies are hair brushes and hair dryers that try to remove your hair until you’re completely naked. When you’re naked, if you get blasted with any hot air, you die. Your only offensive move is a rolling attack that you’ll usually be in the middle of doing when you die. The deaths in Fuzz Power are cheap due to the fact that the air waves are simply black lines that easily blend in with the backgrounds and that enemies tend to fire as you kill them...Which, in turn, kills you. Your only real hope to advance is to hope to avoid the air (good luck) otherwise, you’ll likely see the ‘Game Over’ screen within a minute of play. Fuzz Power is yet another poor platformer...And I hope and pray to the guy in the sky that this is the last one I play in this compilation.



32. Shooting Gallery (1-2 Players) - 2/10
Yay, another bad shooting game with no challenge! Shooting Gallery seems to be based off of the old carnival game of shooting stuff from behind a counter while absolutely no audio plays while you do it. No skill is needed. Moving from side to side and firing will get the job done with no effort...Even if your bullets aren’t on target, the enemies will often walk into them. I don’t blame them, if I were part of this awful collection of games, I’d walk into a bullet, too. If those carnival shooting games were as easy as this in real life, I’d be able to win fifteen teddy bears for every child in the world. This game, however, doesn’t give you a teddy bear for playing. Your reward is knowing that this game stole precious moments of your life that could have been spent enjoying the aroma of a flower or giving a wedgie to someone smaller than you. It’s not the worst game in the compilation, but I’d still avoid it unless you’d like to make yourself feel like you’re a master of 2D shooting games.



33. Lollipop (1-2 Players) - 4/10
I was amazed with Lollipop...While it definitely isn’t a very good platformer, it’s playable; a big step forward for Active Enterprises. The controls are slightly better than some of the other platforming games in Action 52, which helps a lot. As far as the theme goes, you’re some dude wielding a comically large lollipop as a weapon as you battle candy and gum that have apparently grown angry that you chose the lollipop over them. Other than that, I really can’t say much that hasn’t been said with the other platforming games. This game is more of the same, but a little bit better. It’s playable, but still very far from good.



34. Evil Empire (1-2 Players) - 5/10
Evil Empire is yet another game in Action 52 that actually had promise, but falls flat. It’s
actually pretty fun. You just climb up and down ladders, going from platform to platform shooting at enemies. It’s simple and fun. However, it suffers from a major flaw that has bogged down a few other games in this compilation as well; random spawning of enemies. Some platforms in the game are so small that if an enemy spawns on it, your only option is to climb the ladder up to your death. These cheap deaths are somewhat frequent and really hinder what could have been a pretty fun experience. Evil Empire is still one of the best games on the cartridge and worth a try if you’re willing to deal with the forced suicides they make you commit.



35. Sombreros (1-2 Players) - 1/10
This game is so pointless. You collect hats and kill people that generally avoid you...I guess because you don’t want them to take the hats you find. They could have just taken all enemies out of the game and it would play the exact same, boring way. The only enemies that really pose as a threat are the automobiles in the first level...But once you’re past the first level, you don’t see ‘em again. Even the vehicles aren’t that hard to avoid...Simply walk along the dotted line and you’ll have a safe passage. This game is just so easy and boring that it’s ridiculous. I think it’s supposed to be a shooter, but you don’t have to fire a single shot to advance a level...Or collect a single hat for that matter. Technically, you can finish the game with a score of zero if you really wanted to. This game is just so pointless and horrible...The folks who made it should pull a sombrero over their faces in shame.



36. Storm Over the Desert (1-2 Players) - 2/10
This is the second game that has its own title screen prior to playing...Which leads me to believe that this is another game that the developers were proud of. If that is the fact, I’d like to meet these developers so I can feed ‘em a knuckle sandwich...heavy on the pain mayo. Apparently this is supposed to let gamers understand what it was like to be in Desert Storm...It accurately portrays this war with tanks, stick figures, and an indestructable, 30-foot-tall Sadam Hussein. This game may have been fun if you could move somewhat fast and if there was a feeling of danger...But you’re in a tank and everything goes down in one hit except for that giant Hussein character. Sadam Hussein, and his countless giant clones, randomly appear on the screen and only disappear if you collide with him. Anyway, this game is lacking of any real challenge and is frustratingly slow. It’s pretty much trash. Avoid it.



37. Mash Man (1-2 Players) - 2/10
You’re some dude with giant feet that’s supposed to stomp everything in sight unless it happens to he a sharp object that’s floating in mid-air. This wouldn’t be a problem except that this game suffers from all of the flaws that made the other platforming games bad, too. Surprisingly, though, the biggest problem isn’t the game’s poor controls. The problem is that the choppy frame rate mixed with the poor color selection means that you’ll likely run into things that will kill you without knowing that you’re running into things that will kill you. After a while, you eventually learn to spot that stuff you need to avoid...But most folks won’t want to suffer through the gameplay to gain that knowledge. Mash Man is just another game that you’ll want to avoid in Action 52.



38. They Came... (1-2 Players) - 2/10
I claimed that Storm Over the Desert was bad partially because it was slow. I stand corrected. They Came...is basically the same terrible game except it’s faster, takes place in space, and doesn’t have a giant dictator roaming around the screen. It’s just as horrible as Storm Over the Desert was, which proves that bumping the speed up helps nothing when the gameplay is this boring and terrible. There’s not much else to say that wasn’t already said about Storm Over the Desert...It’s faster, but just as awful.



39. Lazer League (1-2 Players) - 3/10
Bo-ring. I’d love to say that Lazer League is in a league of its own, but it’s not. It’s just as boring and tedious as most of the other scrolling shooters in Action 52. The only threats you have are running into a ship and running out of ammo since you can only fire one shot at a time. If you miss, you can’t shoot again until your lazer leaves the other end of the screen. It’s quite annoying. If any of the enemies fired back at you or posed a threat (aside from the boss fights, which are still ridiculously easy), then this game would be a lot less painful to play...

*CONTINUED IN [Link removed - login to see].*

Talk about pointless...Even the young audience that this game is focused towards will be scratching their heads within two minutes wondering if they’re supposed to be having fun playing this game. If we, as gamers, are supposed to be having fun with a game like Strawberry Shortcake: Musical Match-Ups, then I would like to meet the developer of the game so I can pimp slap him for prostituting this game on us.



The premise of Musical Match-Ups is mind-numbingly simple. The bodies of various Strawberry Shortcake characters are scrambled in three layers and it’s up to you to unscramble them so that they can dance and be happy that they’re back in one piece. What’s your reward for doing this good deed? Music so awful that your ears may bleed from hearing it.

The music in this game is absolutely terrible...Even by Atari 2600 standards. Some of the music is slightly bearable...But other music, like Blueberry Muffin’s song for example, make you want you open a big box of Q-tips, grab a handful of ‘em with each hand, replace the cotton with steel wool, and jam them as far into your ears as you can in hopes of doing permanent damage so you’ll never have to hear that awful sound again.



Graphically, this game just feels rushed. I mean, a lot of Atari 2600 games back then had only one screen and not a whole lot of detail...But with the exception of the legs of the characters bending and sides of the little stage the characters are in being highlighted in accordance to which part of the body you’re moving, there is absolutely no animation to be seen in this game. It’s just as boring to look at as it is to play. I appreciate the graphical style of the Atari 2600 age of gaming....I do not, however, appreciate the barely-moving graphics of Strawberry Shortcake: Musical Match-Ups.

Strawberry Shortcake: Muscial Match-Ups is a terrible game. Even young children will get bored with this in a matter of minutes...Or they’ll cry before that happens from the painful music that’s drowning their ears. There is absolutely no replay value to be found. E.T. gets a lot of negative press as far as Atari 2600 games go, but for slightly different reasons, Strawberry Shortcake is just as bad...possibly even worse. It's so bad that I would not be surprised if there's a tombstone somewhere that reads something along the lines of, "Here lies Little Timmy Falkins. He played Strawberry Shortcake: Musical Match-Ups and died from sadness." This game was a waste of space on department store shelves when it came out...And today, it’s a waste of space in the bargain bin of your local thrift store.

The Dreamcast was host to a lot of fighting games and one of the early favorites was Marvel vs. Capcom, where players battled in teams of two. With the success of that game, it seemed only natural for Capcom to release a sequel...And it improved on the original in about every way imaginable. From the HUGE selection of playable characters, which is 56 for those wondering, to stepping up the gameplay itself and making it teams of three rather than two, Marvel vs. Capcom 2 isn’t just a great sequel, it’s one of the better and most sought-after games in the Dreamcast library.



The gameplay is fairly simple...Teams of three battle each other in tag-team style gameplay, where button mashing will give you pretty much the same amount of success as precise button commands, and the characters are so unevenly-matched that it almost seems like a disorganized mess. Sound fun? Well, it is. Playing Marvel vs. Capcom 2 is a chaotic experience, but most likely a chaotic experience that most gamers will love.

The major problem (according to some) with the gameplay is how unbalanced the fighting is. If someone who has never played a fighting game chooses someone like Cable, with powerful, long range attacks, and they fight against someone who took the time to master someone like the Hulk or Zangief and all of their attacks, there’s a very good chance that the button-mashing newbie that has never played a fighting game in their life will hold their own by mashing buttons against their fighting game master opponent. In fact, there’s a chance that they won’t just hold their own, but beat the veteran fighting gamer. That’s both in part to the unbalanced characters and also to the fighting system itself, which unlike most fighting games, almost seems to reward players for being button mashers rather than learning the precise button commands, like I had mentioned earlier. Personally, I’m not completely against either aspect of the fighting. The button mashing makes it easy to pick up and play for newcomers, which is nice. And the unbalanced characters are acceptable in my book, if only for the fact that you’re choosing a team of three fighters that you can tag in and out at any time...If one of your fighters is weak against one of your opponents, then that’s your cue to tag out. To me, that’s not a problem like a lot of people say, that’s a neat aspect to the fighting engine that adds strategy. If this was one-on-one fighting, then I’d feel differently, but it’s not.



Anyway, I stated earlier that there are 56 playable characters in Marvel vs. Capcom 2, and there are, however, when you first begin there are only 24 to choose from. The remaining 32 are unlocked by playing the game, earning points, and going to the ‘store’ in-game to purchase the remaining characters. Some people may not like this, but I’m not one of them. I really, really enjoy this feature as it added tremendous amounts of replay value to the game for me. I spent hours upon hours playing this game simply because each time I unlocked a new character, I wanted to play the game as them and learn and see all of their special moves. Some folks may not like this and think that it’s a bad thing that everyone isn’t unlocked right off the bat, but personally, I love it.

As far as the cosmetics go, Marvel vs. Capcom 2 is decent. As I’ve stated in my reviews for the ports of this game before, the audio is annoying jazz. It’s not so annoying because it’s bad (which it is), but it’s annoying because it’s bad AND somewhat catchy. You’ll hear trumpets from the intro movie for days after you play....or a woman singing that she’s ‘gonna take you for a ride’ from the character selection screen. Some may enjoy these tunes, but from what I’ve seen, most folks aren’t fans. The graphics are done fairly well. The levels are beautifully made and the sprite-filled characters look quite nice. So, as far as cosmetics go, you’ve got some good and some bad....But nothing so major that’ll prevent you from enjoying your time playing this game.



So, in the end, what we’ve got here is a very good game put out by Capcom. If you walk into it expecting a strategic fighting experience, you’ll probably be disappointed and may be better off getting a copy of Street Fighter III: Third Strike instead. However, if you’re open-minded to the button-mashing bliss that Marvel vs. Capcom 2 provides, you’ll likely grow to understand why it’s one of the most beloved games on the Dreamcast. On top of the fun fighting engine, the game is loaded with characters and levels to unlock that can provide hours upon hours of replayability. Fighting game purists may prefer more ‘sophisticated’ fighting games that involve more timing and strategy than the button-mashing mayhem found here. But to many, including this reviewer, this game is one of the best to be published on Sega’s final console.

When it came to scrolling shooters, 1942 was always a game that I looked back fondly on. When I was a kid, I absolutely loved it. Then again, when I was a child, I could only survive for a few levels before it was game over. Now, after playing 1942 for this li’l review, I’ve got to say, what seems like a solid shooter slowly transforms into sleep-inducing boredom. I still like the game for something to play for a quick five minutes...But beyond that, 1942 overstays its welcome.

In 1942, you control a plane through 32 levels and try to shoot down other planes while avoiding their fire. Along the way, you can collect power-ups that increase your fire power or even send ally planes your way for even more fire power. Unfortunately, that’s pretty much it. There aren’t many different kinds of enemy planes for you to shoot down and once you play the game for a while, it’s not very difficult to avoid them...Which makes it fairly easy to max-out your plane’s fire power, which in turn, makes it even easier to avoid being shot down yourself. So, this makes the game get very repetitive very quickly.



Also repetitive are the levels. There are 32 levels in all, and the game counts them down as you play. The level designs are VERY boring, which doesn’t help the repetitive gameplay. The first several levels are nothing but water beneath you...Then gradually, you’ll see forested areas, desert areas, and at the very end of the game, some cities. However, even when these other areas pop up, you’re still seeing mostly water. The areas besides water are also annoying due to the color scheme. The enemies and their bullets often blend into the backgrounds when you’re not flying above the sea. If you focus mostly on enemy fire rather than where you’re aiming, you won’t have too much of an issue, but if you’re going for as much enemy destruction as possible, it can become a bit annoying. It’s also worth mentioning that while there are technically four boss fights, there is no final boss fight on the last level, but there is a normal boss fight on the second to last level...Which I find kind of puzzling.

Each level takes roughly two minutes to beat, which means you should expect to put at least an hour into the game if you’re planning on beating it...Add more time for restarting levels after dying and the like. This would be fine if the game stayed fun from beginning to end, but as I mentioned earlier, the levels get repetitive quickly. When I finished playing, I really felt like 32 levels was WAY too many. I think eight levels, and maybe a few difficulty options to add replay value, would have made this game seem much better. As it is, I nearly fell asleep at one point while trying to play through, which ended my game, making me start all the way from level one. Needless to say, I was not happy.



But with all the negatives I’m tossing out, there are some positives. 1942 is fun when you first begin. The controls are smooth and react perfectly to what you want to do. There is also a neat option to do barrel rolls if you feel as if the enemy is overwhelming you with too many bullets or kamikaze planes to dodge normally. The barrel roll will let you avoid most enemies in sticky situations, which can come in handy. Unfortunately, the problem with 1942, as I mentioned earlier, is that while it’s fun, it’s just too much of the same if you’re planning on playing all the way through...So the bad outweighs the good.

Graphically, 1942 is pretty basic, but not terrible. Like I mentioned earlier, I wish they did a better job with the color schemes of some of the backgrounds and/or enemy planes to prevent the blending-in effect that can sometimes lead to cheap deaths...But when it comes to the sprites themselves, for its time, it’s got average graphics. Nothing spectacular, but they’re not poor, either. The audio is terrible. It’s one track that loops during each level...And it’s basically the 8-bit equivalent of nails on a chalkboard. It’s not so bad at first, but again, the repetition hurts the game...After 32 levels of hearing the background music, you’ll feel like jamming a pair of scissors in your ears.



All in all, 1942 would have been a good game if the developers had heard of the phrase, “Less is more.” A few levels would have made this a very fun game...But 32 levels of essentially the exact same thing is just too much. This game feels like being stuck in a room and being told that your only entertainment is to press a button, which creates a fart noise. Yeah, it’ll be amusing at first...But after ten minutes, the joke grows old and you’re ready for something else. In 1942, ‘something else’ never comes.

Have you ever played Twisted Metal or Vigilante 8? While playing them, have you ever thought that it’d be great if the game was dumbed down and contained WWE wrestlers? Me neither. But, someone at THQ did apparently as they released this bargain bin game that features WWE wrestlers facing each other in vehicular combat...And while this sounds like it would be absolute trash, especially since it came out at $20, it’s surprisingly not that bad.

In Crush Hour, you can choose from over thirty WWE wrestlers as they maim each other via motor vehicles rather than their fists. The game has exhibition mode, which is basically you just picking what you want to do and then playing. There’s also a season mode, which basically has you entering arenas (complete with entrance music) and taking on a select number of opponents with various goals for you to accomplish to win. In season mode, you can also unlock a lot of goodies like new drivers and arenas to demolish each other in.



In terms of gameplay, Crush Hour plays like a very dull and boring version of Twisted Metal. The weapons are pretty basic, however, each wrestler has a bar up top like in THQ’s Smackdown games of the time did. After inflicting a certain amount of damage, that bar will fill up and you can use your ‘finisher’ on the other cars. If this was all that Crush Hour had to offer, it’d be very disappointing. But, Crush Hour adds to the gameplay by creating modes based off of the Royal Rumble and the old 24/7 rule the now defunct Hardcore championship used to have, where you try to keep the belt until the time runs out. These unique ideas help hide some of Crush Hour’s simplicity issues and make it somewhat fun to play, and will likely keep you playing this game much, much longer than you would have had these modes (which are unique to car combat games) not been included.

Graphically, Crush Hour is what one would expect from a budget title...Nothing really great here, but not incredibly awful, either. Most of the graphics are pretty bland, but not overly so. Also, the Titantron videos for each wrestler are a nice little touch for the entrances, too. As far as audio goes, it’s pretty rough. The entrance themes are of decent quality, but not so much for everything else. The sound effects are dull. Jim Ross also announces as the action takes place...And it serves as a good laugh in the beginning, but when you hear the same phrase for the hundredth time, you’ll be reaching for the mute button.



Overall, WWE Crush Hour is a surprisingly good bargain bin game. It’s not the best car combat game out there, but it has enough innovative bits and pieces to make it worth playing if you’re a fan of the genre or just a fan of the WWE product in general. The Twisted Metal games will provide you with more overall fun, but for a cheap, unique alternative, you can’t really go wrong with WWE Crush Hour.

During its heyday, if there was such a thing, the Sega CD had titles of various quality...But, there was one type of title that hadn’t been released yet...A type of title that has been released on nearly every gaming system – a WWF wrestling title. That’s where WWF Rage in the Cage fits in. Take the engine of WWF Royal Rumble for Sega Genesis, remove a few modes, add in a steel cage match, and you’ve got WWF Rage in the Cage; a title that should’ve been much more than what it was.

Like I stated above, Rage in the Cage is essentially just the Genesis version Royal Rumble as far as gameplay goes. Everyone has the exact same moves, aside from finishing holds. Lock-ups are nothing but button mash-fests to simply execute a move. Finishing holds are done by hitting the ‘Z’ button at the time and area designated to each particular wrestler. While this type of gameplay is alright for some mindless fun, it grows old quick. Having the only different move between wrestlers be their finishing moves, while the rest of their arsenal is exactly the same as everyone else, is just plain lame.



Also lame is the lack of match types. What happened to them? You can’t even have the basic tag team match...Which is ridiculous since they actually included two tag teams (the Headshrinkers and the Nasty Boys) in the game. I mean Money Inc. is in the game as well, but both IRS and Ted DiBiase were successful singles competitors, too. Nobody at the time could really see Samu, Fatu, Knobbs, or Sags as singles folks...So why not give them the opportunity to shine in tag action? Also missing is the Royal Rumble match, which was fun in the Genesis and Super NES Royal Rumble games even with the repetitive move sets. Replacing these match types is the Steel Cage match, which can be decent fun...But not fun enough to sacrifice the other match types for it.

Graphically, the game really doesn’t look much different than the Genesis or Super NES versions of WWF Royal Rumble. It’s basically the same sprites, just a larger selection of wrestlers, so a little more variety in what you see during matches. The little bit of video footage in the game is very grainy and you get the impression that they shoved it in there because they could rather than because they actually had a use for it. Audio-wise, the game is pretty nice. It features full-length ring introductions from Howard Finkel as well as a little promo from each wrestler prior to each bout. Also, when you stop on a specific wrestler, a CD quality version of their entrance theme plays. So, all in all, the audio is pretty good.



WWF Rage in the Cage had potential to be so much better than it was. If they hadn’t knocked out all of the match types found in previous WWF titles, there’d be a bit more replay value here...But when all you can really do is a singles match or a cage match, there’s not really any reason to continue playing the game at all unless you’re an absolute die-hard wrestling fanatic...And even then, it’s only a matter of time before boredom pins you down for the three count.